Let me set up the blueprint for the scenario. Several days ago I was at Fredericton’s latest restaurant offering downtown; Midsea Restaurant. They serve EXCELLENT Lebanese food. You’ll know that it’s excellent too because I used all caps. Would a brother from a browner mother lie to you?
Anyway. There I was at the restaurant. I ordered a chicken shawarma meal. Aside from the chicken, it came with rice, vegetables, some pita bread and best of all; sour garlic cream. And there I was enjoying my meal, eating respectable bites and not like Cookie Monster who om-nom-noms.
And while chatting away with my buddies I noticed a girl sitting in front of me and we exchanged a couple of glances here and there. Nothing flirty or anything cause I was eating. The worst time to flirt with anyone is while they’re eating. PS. Don’t talk to me while I eat wings in a restaurant with my knife/fork. It gets awkward.
Then we continued exchanging glances and then suddenly the worst thing happened. A small tomato piece went down my windpipe. And we had just exchanged glances too.
Crap crap CRAP.
My bodily reflex was forcing me to cough up the mis-swallowed tomato piece, along with the food that I was chewing.
But then I thought…
“That’s a bad idea”, I thought to myself.
Projecting food from your mouth to your plate or into the air or onto your friend’s t-shirt while making violent coughing sounds and deep gasps of breath is never attractive.
But I’m at expert at holding my cough in, I’ll tell you that right now. I also perfected “The Silent Sneeze”. PS. I can’t understand those sneezes that are like majestic soundscapes that sound like action SFX from 300.
So back to my story. So there I was. Trying to hold my cough in. And as I was doing so I began to well up with tears for reason. Coughing. Choking. Close to crying. Three Cs you don’t want to be doing at the dinner table.
And then I realized I wasn’t cool anymore. The girl left shortly after my ordeal. And I looked like a wreck, wiping the tears from my eyes and pitifully chewing my food. That and my friends wondering what the hell happened as I shook my head from side to side to try and say “I’m fine.”
MORAL OF THE STORY: Acting cool when you naturally aren’t will backfire on you. But if you’re in the Fredericton area, give Midsea Restaurant a visit. You’ll be in for a treat.